So I decided recently,after an intense amount of frustration at part time $7.00/hr jobs to go back to dancing.
Chicago doesnt have very many clubs,only a few of them and as a result they tend to be fairly over-saturated with dancers and fairly uptight. So,I figured I'd check out a club in Hammond,which is only about thirty minutes away via the train.
The club I checked out was fairly small and divey. Which didn't bother me. I like little divey places. They tend to be fun,laid back places to work and the money is often the same as at the upscale barbie clubs with about one third the hassle.
I walked into the club and saw a huge lizard in a cage."Slutzilla"it said. Huh. That's bizarre. Okay. Then I talked to the manager. Friendly enough guy,he asked if I wanted to work that night. "Sure," I said. He then showed me around the place and explained how the tip out worked. Not too bad,really. So I got changed and got on the floor. The manager talked to me some more.He explained I got free food,free coffee and a free alcoholic beverage at the start of the shift.
"Oh cool. So you're allowed to drink on shift here. That's good." In Texas Id been able to but in Arizona I had not. When I danced in San Francisco the places were all no alcohol/full nude so that wasnt an option. The same appeared true for most of the places in Chicago Id checked out.
"Well,technically you should be over 21,but..."he winked at me. Uh huh. A little blatant but he had flattered me with the comment,since Id just turned 28 a week or so before so I ignored it.
It looked good.It looked like I'd found a fun place to work.
Then he explained the rules for the dances.
The rules were:there were no rules. The dances were in private rooms."I have condoms behind the bar if you need them"he told me
What? Exc-u-u-u-u-use me??
He went on to explain how the girls would frequently give blow jobs or fuck the guys and what they normally accepted. He advised me to not take less than thirty dollars for a blow job.
Oh.My.Fucking.God.
Now,Im a very opinionated,expressive person.I often figure that Im easy to read because I suspect that what Im thinking often shows on my face. So,as I was drinking my cup of coffee Im sure the shock and sheer horror was showing on my face.
Obviously,sleaze boy needed to cut his lines a little smaller.
He then told me about one of the door men. The doorman was a very big,not very bright looking fellow. "Him,he'll get a dance from ya.And I can assure you he'd eat ya out.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At this point I started contemplating what excuse to give to get the hell out of that place and get on the train before the last metra into the city left.
He prattled on for about another ten minutes in this vein. At one point,I said
"Oh shit! You know what? I just remembered!I have an eye doctor's appointment at 10 am. I should catch the last train back.I cant work after all. But,uh,I'lll come back,uh...Wednesday night!"
"Well,"he said,"we have an eye doctor that comes in here all the time. I tell ya what,ya fuck 'im and I guarantee he'll give ya a new pair of glasses."
Um...yeah.
I started wondering why this place wasnt busted. I mean if I were an undercover cop they'd have vanished without a trace.
"No really. I should go. Uh,my uh...mom set the appointment. She'll be pissed if I miss it. I'll be in wednesday though.
"I scared you off didnt I?"he asked.
"Oh...uh...no...not at all!" What on earth could possibly give you that idea?
So then he started talking about the Jerry Springer show.
"You're not gonna go on the Jerry Springer show are ya?I had some of my girls go on that show and I hate that Jerry Springer guy!His guards kept tryin' to feel up my girls for free and---"
"No.I dont like the Jerry Springer show. Dont worry.
So I quickly changed back into my street clothes and found myself safely to the metra station and back into Chicago.Where I feel safe.