So, after coming through my depression about art, I've had a new resolve.
I've been in and out of this depression since I visited School of Visual Arts. For awhile, I felt like I just wasn't very good and that I love creating art so much that I wished I could be. But, as I looked at some of my paintings and animation-projects-in-progress, I realized that wasn't the case. Also, the more I pick up of design, the less I want to do it. It seems so formulaic to me, so uninspiring. I sit in my classes, with all these great tools at my disposal, and I'm graded more on professional quality than creativity. It's depressing. And as I sit there, just unable to create in programs that I formerly loved, it all seems so banal to me. At that moment, I come to realize that I will never be a designer.
Well, that leaves a lot of gaps open.
Most animators I know get through the lean times by doing design work. That has been a quandry for me. Even more of a quandry is looking at the schools that offer my program and all the problems associated with them. They're absurdly expensive, and the education tends to be sorely lacking. They often times seem more like a babysitting service for rich suburban kids than anything else.
So I got to thinking.
I don't need a school that has puppet animation classes, do I? I have film equiptment. I make puppets now. I have ideas. Do I really need an animation program?
What I need is a program where I can increase my skills in film and video production, so I've been looking at that.
I've also been wanting to get back into my writing. As much as I love art, even I know that writing is my strongest area, and I'm a much better writer than an artist. I'm a decent artist, but writing comes naturally to me. So I wouldn't mind getting a job, say, writing for a magazine. And I've got enough of a background in graphic design (or I will after this year) that I can be useful in the layout department whenever needed. I don't think I'd want to do primarily layouts, but it's a useful skill to have, especially if you want to do writing or editing.
In the spirit of this, I've started working on my novel again. It didn't take much to pick up right where I left off, and I've got a good sense for where I want to go with it. I'm somewhere between half and two thirds through. Doing this, I feel very comfortable with following this direction.
So, I've been looking at different schools. I've come up with a few options. One of those options is a communications program. There's a lot that combine film and video with various mass media studies. I also am looking at just getting into a film program, because it will give me some essentials.
The great thing about it, is it gives me a lot of choices. Most every school in Chicago has one, so I can find a good school that can gives me a good financial aid. It's the kind of relief that you get from going from a seller's market to a buyer's market. It's a nice feeling.
As much as I'd like to get into an animation program, most of those schools just seem out for your money. At least this gives me the chance to get the skills I need the most and not worry about how I'll pay for it...