So, I decided to whore myself out.
Yup, as some of you may have noticed, I added myself to clix.
Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. I write the diary for me, not for the rankings. But...it would be good for exposure, as well as give me some idea of how many folks read this damned thing. And, besides, it's something to occupy my time.
So on another topic, I am pissed.
Well not really, but I have a slight twinge of aggravation.
It seems my little half sister, the one with the apartment and the one who has spent the better part of her life getting trips to europe and getting the most prestigious dance teachers, is writing a novel.
That's always been my thing. In fact, I'm 3/4 done with my novel. And, after hearing about every single accomplishment of Emily's, I would really prefer that this one thing be something that I achieve that she doesn't.
I mean, I know that's territorial of me, and I know I could have done it before hand. But I get sick of hearing about everyone of her accomplishments, big or small. I mean, what she does is the product of environment primarily. You give a kid every kind of artsy lesson from the time they're three, tell them ad nauseum what a genius they are, and of course they'll produce. Does that make them brilliant or just priviliged?
It's not that I'm jealous of what she got so much as I can't stand the extreme gap between her and the kids from other marriages. You know, my dad pays for her apartment out of her "college fund". The rest of us never had a college fund. She has been going on trips to europe since she was ten. I never went to europe before this past summer and paid my own way. Christopher has never gone to europe and Jennifer always wished she could.
I was pretty much steered on a practical course, as were the rest of us, always taught to think of a job first and art second. It's not like we had the opportunity. So, when I'm talking about the stuff I'm working on, and it gets completely ignored to brag about Emily's latest project, I get irritated.
And I guess if she appreciated it more, it might not bother me. But she expects stuff that most of us could only dream about. She turns her nose up at a free car if it's not a miata. She turns her nose up at Italy because it isn't Ireland. And that just gets to be a bit much. She gets mad that her IKEA furniture isn't powder blue like she wanted, when her whole apartment is furnished with it. And that's what gets me. I can't stand when someone doesn't know how pampered they are and although I love her because she's my sister, there are times I really wish someone would give her a hard dose of reality.
I suppose if she even seemed to try to engage a bit more with her siblings it might not bother me so much. She wouldn't go to Jennifer's funeral because "funerals upset her". Something I still haven't forgiven her for. I've sent her numerous letters and presents but never gotten so much as a thank you note. She seems interested enough when I come to visit, and I guess if you're raised to be a bit of a prima donna, you're going to turn out as one, but it still makes me kind of annoyed and resentful.
Blah. Maybe this will get me off my ass to finish the book, though.