Recently at work, we were talking about diet pills. The supervisor that's training us was talking about people who get sick off of them, and that it's all the media's fault.
Bullshit.
I'm sick of hearing how other peoples' insecurities are the product of "the media". So there are a lot of thin women in magazines. Are you saying that you're that incredibly impressionable, that you are that incapable of making your own decision about anything that the mere fact that a certain look may be apparent in magazines will drive you to achieve it at all costs? We're all adults here, I think we can each decide for ourselves if it's worth it.
Of course, there's the matter that it seems that the women who complain about a given look being the "product of media" are usually the ones that don't have it. Well, then it's simple jealousy and insecurity. If you feel self conscious about traits you don't have, that's fine. Male or female, slender or large, there are always qualities that we wished we had and that make us envious when we see them in others. But don't make it out to be any more than that. It's very chic to blame society for all your problems, but all that does ultimately is make an abstract society as a scapegoat and fill an actual society with blame shifters who can't take the most basic responsibility for the situations in your life.
anyhow...
I had strange dreams last night and this morning. I have been having them since we moved here, but lately they have been more wacky and less troublesome so I suppose that's a good thing.
Work went better yesterday. Thank god I am almost done with this tedious fucking training. I was pretty panicky all day long about the situation with Rob possibly going out of town and the fact that with my schedule I would just miss the last bus home. I really worried about the fact that there would be six weeks over the summer of this and I would have to take a cab, which would be something like twelve bucks. But I talked to my head supervisor, and she agreed to work with me, and either let me duck out early if I had to, or find me a ride home. So that was a huge load off my mind.
Then Rob told me that the Cleveland job got re assigned to someone else, and the only thing he may have is a job in foul Columbus. So, that will be a three or four day job which isn't such a big deal. That is a big relief.
Lately, I have been having these pangs of missing dancing. I don't think I would go back to it, it would seem a little too weird, but I have to say that I still get nostalgic about the whole thing. I still do miss it though. Maybe it's the whole creative factor, the stage presence. Sometimes the drive to just always be doing something creative is overwhelmingly strong. It makes it hard to sit around in a room and listen to the explanation of financial terms and details of escrow accounts, PMI and all this other mortgage crap. I just want something...a song, an image, an idea to inspire me and I want that self expression and sometimes it really gnaws at me that I can't.
I can't wait to start school.
Well at least I have the corporate perks. I'm going to be getting an ergonomic chair and they just gave me a plant and a calculator and my computer and everything else. Heh, I guess when push comes to shove, I am really a simple creature: " I don't know if I like doing this and transportaion's kind of a hassle but dammit, they gave me an ergonomic chair and a plant..."