Last night, I dreamed that I was scourging the cities of the world, looking for art classes that I could take. I wound up taking classes at the fashion institute, but didn't know how I would be able to fit the four classes I was taking with the two classes I already had signed up for at Valley.
I woke up this morning and signed myself back up for full time. I was able to get all the classes I had dropped, which is a good thing. I think I'll keep them until I know what's going on with my work load. But, in all honesty, I really was a bit melancholic about the not going full time thing. School's the only thing that makes it worthwhile to be here.
Sometimes I think I do things to make things easier on myself. That I trick myself with temporary decisions to ease the guilt of something I want to do. Like with this. It's easier for me to say that I want a better job and am quitting for that reason than to say that I am quitting and willing to take less pay because I just hate it there that much.
I'd feel guilty about quitting, I'd feel irresponsible, especially if it means taking some bullshit job. But if it's for a position with more hours and more responsibilities, it seems a bit more valid. Don't ask me why.
I' m such a neurotic freak.
Maybe someday I will reach a point where I don't have to trick myself, I can just do what I want and not feel guilty about it. Believe me, I'm working on it.
Oh well. The notice went well. I wound up giving her a month, since they need time to find people. I am not too crazy about being stuck there for a month, but it's good to do, better than leave her in the lurch. And knowing this is something finite keeps me from having to worry about just snapping one day and saying something really rude to to one of the many idiots that call every day.