This day is hitting me harder than I expected.
A year ago today, I'd been happily setting up some job interviews. I had one that was really promising. I was planning a trip to Buffalo to see my sister that fall, and had been thinking of calling her the upcoming weekend. Rob was still working at neustar and on the way home from work, we met at Abril's for sangria. We were talking about the job interview I had coming up, and what we had done wrong in our last apartment hunt, and how we would do it better the next time around. We got home, and hadn't been home long when my Dad called. He was breaking the news to me that my sister had overdosed on these medicated patches, and had died in the hospital that morning.
I've been in bad shape all morning. I can't even really begin to explain it, except that I can't leave the house today, and I can't be around people. I guess I thought I'd get through it okay, but everything about that day just came flooding back to me.
I'm supposed to work today, but I can't. I sent my boss an email that makes me sound like a fucking basketcase. I didn't want to do this. I hate letting my personal business become the knowledge of people I work with. And there was no way that I could get out of it without telling her the truth. I was sick at the end of May, so I can't call in sick now. Now I run the risk of either getting reprimanded for missing a day my first week back from vacation or getting those weird, pitying glances and inquiries I've grown to hate.
I had a bunch of stuff I was going to write today, but I'm in no shape for it.
Now excuse me, I need a drink.