Top ten reasons why I'm a misanthrope. My tribute to Boyd Rice.

1. they'll look at some small slice of your life and come out with some full psychoanalysis. That they have never had a conversation with you more complex than which corner store has the best burritos, or that they never took more than psych 101 in college, doesn't seem to enter their feeble brains.

2. they'll have maybe known someone who knew someone that read a book on a subject you've studied intently for years, and yet they'll claim they know so much more than you.

3. People that don't understand that a propensity for painting or making clay zombies does not mean you could, or even would want to, take a job doing automotive illustrations. People that, for that matter, don't understand that there's a whole world of art not intended for corporate consumption.

4. Bullshit excuses that insult your intelligence. "We have a lot of interviews." "I sent it, it must have gotten lost in the mail" "I would have shown up but my cat spoke to me and said it would drink my blood if I left the house."

5. "I know I stole from you, molested your cat and published your secret diary in the daily press...but why don't you want to hang out anymore?"

6. People that read your comic book and insist it's autobiographical even when it involves zombies chomping on the brains of retarded monkeys, simply because the protagonist has the same hairstyle as you.

7. "How dare anyone take my philosophies so personally? By the way, I'm never speaking to you again because you disagreed with my philosophy."

8. Leering, toothless fanboys with dip dripping out of their mouth that don't understand why no woman will date them.

9. People that have ten kids, can't seem to properly parent any of them, yet somehow think society owes them something for the mere fact that they reproduced.

10. The fact that more people watch sex in the city than watch six feet under.