So, I got my acceptance package from Elmhurst. Dammit.

Despite my initial frustrations at the tour, I became sold on the school--through word of mouth, talking to admissions representatives and emailing faculty--and was pretty impressed at the prospect.

Moreover, they had that nifty interdisciplinary program where I could have studied art and writing simultaneously. Since I can't seem to choose between the two, the option of both was pretty damned appealing. And it runned the gamut from creative and professional writing to video editing to fine arts, so I could have picked up some rather marketable skills while I experimented.

Sigh.

But even more, I got a packet. Okay, Rob is laughing at me right now. Because I'm making a big deal out of a packet.

But the thing is this: I'm a high school drop out. I got a GED. I've only ever attended schools with open admissions policies. I've visited a lot of schools who were very snotty and condescending toward me. To actually get a thick packet full of information about the whole process is pretty nifty. It's even better when it's from a rather prestigious college that routinely gets ranked as one of the top liberal arts schools in the region.

I know I should be happy that I got in. It's a nice ego boost. And I am.

And it's not that I don't have some mixed memories about Chicago. With as much fun as I had there, I also had some pretty bad experiences as well, memories that I need some distance from, and I'm grateful that Detroit is offering me a chance to do just that.

And it's not like I won't get accepted at a good school. But this one seemed really promising, and it's another bit of irony. Sometimes there are these things that not only won't let me forget Chicago but actually taunt me with the promise of a really good life.

And I guess it's a reminder of how futile all this was.

When I moved to Kalamazoo and it became apparent we were going to move back to Chicago, I explored the option of us moving to Detroit so I could go to school here. Neither of us thought that was very likely to happen. So, when I was so frustrated at Valley, I didn't stick it out. Most of the stuff I was taking didn't seem like it would transfer so well for the schools in Chicago that I was interested in and I found the community college basically like thirteenth grade. But I knew if we stayed in Michigan, I would need that semester, since there are only a couple of schools that will consider you a transfer student with less than 24 credit hours.

So I did all this homework, visited schools, talked to instructors and spent a lot of money on application fees. I got sold on a notion.

Then we wound up having to move to Detroit. It turned out that it was pretty stupid of me to drop out of Valley.

Now I need to start over, visit more schools, write all those essays and send off the applications, spend the money on transcript fees, wait three months (it takes two months minimum for the pennsylvania dept of education to send my ged transcripts) for a decision...

So I'm looking at this material that I received from this good school, welcoming me. And as silly as it may seem, as many mixed feelings as I had about going back to Chicago, I can't help but feel a twinge of melancholy....