So I got back yesterday from my trip to Chicago. A lot of stuff is much clearer, and I've got an increased sense of direction and enthusiasm.
I had my super secret Italian diary with me (i.e. I bought the diary in Italy, I don't write it in Italian.) so I'll give you excerpts and embellish upon them as needed.
July 30, 2001.
I'm on the blue line going toward Damen. I have the whole car to myself. There's a billboard on the car that says "isn't it ironic that you're rushing to a job that you dislike?" Funny, I've quit quite a few jobs on that same premise.
It's nice to have anonymity. I like walking around and for the first time since I returned from Italy, I feel stylish instead of like a complete sideshow freak.
All last night I had a migraine and nausea, Coffee helped dispel the feeling of malaise though, so now I'm off for breakfast at Earwax.
Walking around, this town is filled with ghosts. It's filled with memories. It's what keeps me from thinking I should move back and it's why I feel that I should. I'll never be able to escape the memories. If I try, I'll just create new ones somewhere else. But there are good memories and that gives me hope. Nonetheless, the final determiner will be wholly logical and wholly practical based on observation and analysis of where we both will have the greatest opportunity for success.
2:15 pm. Well, Eawax was a great idea until I walked in, got hit by the god awful heat when it's already ninety degrees outside and is hotter in there, mixed with the sickening smell of food and humidity. So I walked across the street to Local Grind. Their food is better anyways. So, I ordered a coffee and a hummus platter.
Looking out at the city, I could be perfectly happy living in Wicker Park. I've loved this part of town since my first day here, as I watched the city scenery on my way to that crappy apartment in Humboldt.
July 31, 2001.
It gives a bad message to make this many people wait.
10 PM. Wow, I was really unimpressed with School of the Art Institute of Chicago. It was actually really annoying. They started the tour pretty late. No one even told me that it was a group tour. I couldn't see the film and video equiptment, or the art and technology facilities, and the tour guide didn't even know what animation software they used. The girls giving the tour were these really annoying trust fund kids; there was no artwork on the walls hardly, except for in the painting department, and what I saw was wholly unimpressive-nothing like what I saw at Kendall. Then I met with an admissions counselor and she was really evasive with my questions. She couldn't even tell me the placement rate and she told me "this is a school you go to to explore your art. Don't worry about getting a job." Jesus Christ. And she said that the typical amount of financial aid awarded is $4,000 a year. Yikes! She even advised me not to take out more than $30,000 a year in loans because I would not be able to pay it back. Wow. I just kind of stopped trying and told her that I was looking at schools in New York. It was really nauseating.
August 1,2001.
I don't think I'll go to UIC for the tour. I know the campus pretty well, and my only questions are about the art and design program, which is closed until later this month anyways. Besides, I know that I want to apply there, I don't need to visit. I think I may check out Illinois Institute of Arts. I have serious reservations, but I may wander around tomorrow. I like the area it's in, so maybe I'll go and see if I can ask some questions in the financial aid office and pick up some information on the computer animation program.
August 3, 2001
The last few days have been a lot more productive. Yesterday, I went to ILIA. That was a ton better than Artic. I went there on the fly and asked if there was anyone I could talk to in admissions and financial aid. They pulled my name on a system and found my admissions counselor. She met with me and talked to me for a long time, and gave me a full tour of the facilities. I absolutely loved the campus. They have some great software, great facilities and the campus was filled with really good, both creative and aesthetically pleasing work. I was told that based on what I make, I should be able to get most if not all of my tuition covered. Well, that's a plus. I just really liked the atmosphere of the school, too. I just kept thinking "this is the life I really want for myself in Chicago." I know that if we come back here, I need to re create myself, re create my life so as not to fall into the old ruts. I need to make my life exactly what I want it to be and I need to do so before I go back. I think I could do it at ILIA.
So as you can see, it was a very worthwhile trip. In addition to resolving so many questions about school, we had a blast. We went to Lemmings, the map room, street side cafe. We also hung out quite a bit at Katerina's and Clarke's and Hollywood's. We fed ourselves at the Boulevard, Canella's, Hi Rickey's, as well as trying a few new places that we're determined to make regular haunts.
We went to see Planet of the Apes with Jason, which was absolutely wonderful. Rob and I caught Ghost World at Piper's Alley, which is a must see for any eightball fans or indie comic geeks out there. It was wonderful, and I want to buy the dvd when it comes out.
We dug up some info on apartments, and have expanded our area of interest to include loft space in river west and river north. We would absolutely love a loft.
Coming back was hard. It still feels like home there and sometimes I seriously doubt that Kalamazoo ever will. But we both agreed that we needed this. We need a year away from Chicago to appreciate it, so we can settle in and make the most of things, as opposed to getting stuck in a bad situation and letting it sour our whole outlook, like it did before. And I'm glad that I have a better idea of what I'm doing. I'll probably apply to both ILIA and UIC in case something happens with financial aid and I can't get the funding for ILIA. But I'm quite excited about the prospect of going there and I'm equally excited about the sense of direction that I now have.
So now we have a few weeks back in Kalamazoo before the trip to New York and then school starts...