I
was sitting around, munching popcorn, and listening to Psychic TV.
I was trying to read a book but my mind kept wandering, so I figured that
I may as well go with it.
I
remembered a guy I knew a long time ago. He was pretty much a twit. A friend
of mine had dated him briefly and fled in terror. He was pretty arrogant,
and had an annoying habit of , no matter who you were or how few times
he'd talked to you, acting like he knew you better than you could ever
possibly know yourself.
On
one of these occasions, he started in on me about my comic. The first issue
of the first comic I'd ever done had drawn on many details of my life at
that time. I had figured it would be a good way to give it character, the
old "write what you know" thing. Well, a lot of folks assumed that
meant my comic was autobiographical. I would tell people "no, it isn't,
just be patient with the story line and you'll see" Well this one fellow
decided that, no matter what I said, the comic was intended as autobiography.
I tried to explain to him that it wasn't, I was just making parallels to
give it more of a feel of realism, and explained where I planned to go
with the plot. The more I explained, the more condescending he became.
At one point he said "well. keep telling yourself that, maybe someday you'll
believe it."
Now
this baffled me. I had known him, what, three months? Five? And he presumed
to tell me he knew me better than I know myself?
I
don't get this. I suppose there's an awful lot of folks who do this on
a regular basis. But I always wonder what makes them so sure. Are they
really so arrogant? Or are they just simpletons, perhaps they, themselves,
can be figured out in one or two sittings so they assume everyone is the
same way.
I'm
not sure.
See,
I made that mistake once, a long time ago. I was dating a guy. When we
started dating,he informed me that he was a real asshole. He told me this
many times. Well, of course being young and naive and having the rose colored
prescription on my glasses at the time, thought that maybe he just had
low self esteem. A few weeks later I learned that, yes, he was indeed an
asshole. From that point on, when someone declares something about themselves,
I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, they've known
themselves longer.
But
that places one in a quandry. I mean we've all met people who put themselves
down in order to gain compliments. I call this the "I'm fat" syndrome.
You don't really want to inform, you want to be contradicted. Well, far
be it from me to contradict someone's opinion of themselves. I'm sure they
have it for a reason. Maybe they do have low self esteem, but I'm not their
shrink. I can't make that decision.
There
really is no diplomatic way around it.
Suppose
someone says "I'm a closet psychopath." Well, if they don't back up what
they say (i.e. show you their collection of mutilated puppy carcasses in
their closet, the list of restraining orders against them, etcetera) it
really is hard to answer that. If you take their word for it and say "yeah
but that's what makes you so interesting to drink with" then you risk hurting
their feelings or offending them in some way. However, if you play
the arrogant card and explain to them that they are not indeed psycho,
and after all you should know because they've been your co worker for a
whole two weeks now, then you run the risk of compelling them to prove
you wrong and then you find puppy carcasses carved into the shape of roses
with a card that reads "thinking of you" on your front lawn.
See
what I mean?
Well,
for me I will practice giving folks the benefit of the doubt. Whatever
adjectives and/or expletives you choose to describe yourself I will take
on faith until you prove otherwise. Sure, some folks might be disappointed
that I don't take the bait, but fuck it, it beats dead puppies on my lawn.
pontifications