-Nick Cave
As I write this, I'm listening to Leonard Cohen, printing out my comic and preparing to go to a Blues club in the neighborhood.
I've been sort of estranged from a friend as of late. Last night, I drunkenly transcribed an email about the situations I believe are being evaded. I, learning from past mistakes, saved it to a folder and have not sent it. I don't know if I will. If there is one thing I've learned through endless city hopping and literally hundreds of associates (friends, acquaintances, comrades, romantic associates, and whathaveyou...) it's that there are people who want to communicate things and people who don't. Sometimes I will push communication if I feel I have earned such an honor. But, ultimately, you leave the subtle cues and if someone can't be bothered to notice and respond, it sort of seems like a waste of energy. Friends come and go and really more go than come, it's one of those mysteries of the human mind, and there's enough that atleast make for a good story that you really can't sweat it, and you always hope it'll resolve itself until eventually it becomes another scribbling diary or a drunken tale to a new face. What can you do?
But what with this usual holiday funk kicking in and maybe kicking in more what with the death in the family last summer (they say this is a big time for folks to tangle with that) and the topsy turvy world where my aspirations clash with my current career reality, I got to thinking about this at Neo last night and I got to thinking about friends and people in general. Combine that with stumbling across some folks that while they were never friends, were a source of conflict in my not too distant history, I found myself doubling the amount of shots as if that could somehow appease my irritation and melancholia.
Normally I really like Neo.
Normally, Neo is soothing and anonymous. I don't know if it's my own bias against 80s nights in bars (god knows I went to enough of them in Tucson) or the overall crowd or the fact that although it wasn't very crowded, there were people there I wasn't really in the mood to see, but it wound up being a kind of negative experience. Normally the alcohol and ephedrine would make me energetic and articulate but also confident and detatched, that night it had the effect of making me feel more anxious and anti-social. Heh. Proof that a substance is only as enjoyable as the state you're in when you indulge in it.
Well.
I have to say I like Tuesday nights at Neo the best. The music is better than almost any other goth night in town. (Atleast right now, tho the old wax lounge used to be my personal favorite.) Cheap shots, laid back crowd, good music and an occasional bit of Current 93. Weekends are good too, particularly friday night, because although the music is mediocre (as is the crowd) there's a very comforting anonymity that I dig.
Well, here it is, Friday night. But we're both a little burnt on Neo after last night, so we're going to explore other venues. It's probably better anyways because it seems silly to be in such a large city, yet sticking to the same goth oriented clubs, when I dont even care too much for that scene. Well, I just got an invitation to write reviews for an online magazine for music, arts and cultures. In the process of exploring their site, I learned that they did indeed have some valuable information about clubs and lounges and the like in the city. So, that's nice, because we've both been wanting to explore the town a bit more and just not known where to start....