I actually felt better when I got up this morning.

I am so not girly. Seriously.

My Philosophy classes make me feel stupid this semester. The teachers are so intimidating.

I'm having anxiety attacks about this homeless shelter gig.

Mostly a good day.

Sometimes I feel so melancholic.

So...better day at the lab.

God, I hate that. Speaking to classes. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

So afterwards I was disheartened.

I think a pre-requisite for joining an honor society should be that you are able to fill out an application.

I realized what was putting me out about the encounter yesterday.

I don't want to hear it.

I went to the lab, did stuff with data.

I suddenly felt melancholy--that no one in the labliked me, that my days were numbered there, that I was totally isolated. I finished my data and left.

I blathered on about Brazil a bit.

I might be helping name deleted with exposures tomorrow.

I finally got to meditate. What's it been, two weeks?

Moon: Some deception, illusion, piscean.

Double major? I don't know.

I went into the lab to help with exposures. I had fun.

I haven't seen SFB in a week or so.

The other day I was walking to school. I swore I saw a man with a knife in his back.

I'll suddenly flash back to being five years old...

I hate name deleted for putting words in my mouth.

This fall is torturously slow.

Oh man, that woman is so patronizing.

That really struck a chord in me.

So, the lab was better.

He told me about the importance of others reading your stuff and I remarked about being a Philosophy minor.

And he teased me about not being assertive enough.

I'm taking a mental health day.

"Shame on me" and all that. But...why?

Later. Stats sucks.

I hate how name deleted is always looking over my shoulder.

I like name deleted's class on Thursdays. Tuesdays I can never concentrate and just want to get out of there but now...I think I'm just drained by the lab.

I told him I'd declared a second major in Philosophy and he told me he'd let me know about the Philosophy of Religion.

I wonder...if I actually physically crawled into the Odwalla case, maybe then people would stop asking me if I was in line.

I swear, the rats in the lab are smarter than most of the students here.

I'm not sure if I'm going but my dream program is there. It's a one year master's program in the Philosophy of Psychopathology.

Very torn on clinical versus philosophy.

I feel like a fraud. My epistemology paper should be better.

Gotta decide whether I want to take 14 or 17 credits and if I want to take phi of religion or intro to clinical.

God, my bag is furry.

"When things go bad, they go bad FAST.

I quit the lab.

I feel guilty. I skipped my Kant class.

It shouldn't bug me.

But god I am tired. The accompanying anxiety is the only thing that keeps me going.

Was gonna read Sosa before class but I caught up in stuff and didn't have time. So I'll just write for a few.

Anyhow. My stats exam. Scary.

I am, by the way, relieved to be done with the lab. Yay. I can be a regular student again.

I wish people would stop looking at me.

I hate it in general, because if I skip class I see no reason to burden anyone else with it. But I particularly hate it in Philosophy classes where my notes will likely be littered with stream of thought ideas,interpretations, etc.

By their conception, I'd have half the disorders in the DSM.

No one ever stalks me in cafes.

I wonder if I could get into U of A's Philosophy program?

Thanks for making me feel like making friends was an impossibility.

A conflict between the person and the situation?

Fuck that glib bullshit.

I hate this town. I just want out.

Got an 'A' on my Epistemology paper. Whee, I'm so smart. Well, I'm not an idiot at least.

Philosophy is a very lonely activity.

I probably won't go on to clinical.

I've been feeling good about stuff.

I talked briefly with a guy from my Epistemology class.

I think I did okay on my midterm but I kinda bullshitted my way through it so I'm not sure...

I know why the book depressed me.

I popped a mini-thin...

I went into class and glanced over at the guy whose journal I sometimes spy on...

I wrote a scathing attack on that book.

Went to my epistemology class. Prof name deleted got ready to lecture then announced he couldn't deal with it today.

Go read Kant.

I wish I could tell him to go to hell. And I wish it would mean something if I did.

History of Ethics sounds good.

My head is in knots.

I don't feel guilty because I don't think it's true. I feel guilty because I do think it's true.