But what if I am hard to follow?

I tried to approach a middle ground...

I have a short fuse, no question there.

He was worried I missed dinner,I asked if I could use his shower...

I'm very torn on this whole aesthetics class.

I had a very vivid dream about linguistic philosophy...

(If they ever give me a teacher and a book.)

I guess you never know what a sore spot might be.

Everyone is going to be there.

Thanks to name deleted, I'm now horribly self conscious about talking about myself...

Let the voicemail get it.

I made Psi Chi officer (secretary).

Okay, I'll be eating blintzes now.

Mr. Smug.

name deleted always tells me to come in a few minutes early to do stuff then doesn't actually get me 'til the time of the appointment.

To quote the giant in Twin Peaks, "It's happening...again.

No wonder it's the stuff of satire.

I refuse to believe that ethics is based on feeling and intent, Aristotle be damned.

name deleted was just a net acquaintance I'd never even met.

I knew I recognized his name...
May 8,2004

Wake up in a bad mood.

Sometimes I want to run away from everything and everyone, go someplace where I don't have to always answer to someone or explain myself.

name deleted taught me how to do the data entry for watermaze.

I'm great at figuring out what is happening, it's the why that gets me.

I don't want to open that can of worms.

I can't tell if I'm an evil genius for thinking of it or hopelessly dense for it taking so long for me to do so.

...all reason flies out the window.

...mentioned being on an aesthetics kick and we talked about Kant.

This building sucks.

Ordinary concepts that were things in my life, like foam in my hair.

How many times have I said it?

Every week he tells me, "I really think we're getting somewhere"...um...okay,I guess.

They may in fact be well wishers in that they mean me no specific harm.

I described the conversation about the rats coming to life and mentioned re-animator.

I dropped stats and traded it for re-animator.

...seemed surprised when I said "people open up to me easily" and later I said I'm comfortable around people that spontaneously open up to me, and he said "how often does that happen?" in the it doesn't happen very much sort of way and I said, "you'd be surprised."

but my mind is perenially wandering...

...never time to even enjoy the things I do.

So after class I went by the lab.

I said I had my rat and chemical safety class last semester and was thinking of going to departmental honors in which case name deleted would attach me to an experiment.

So now I have to declare my minor in Philosophy and BA in honors psychology.

Some people are so stupid that you seriously have to wonder how they get through the day.

Am I pedantic? Or are Philosophers? A little of both maybe? Not pedantic but verbose I guess.

Well, one thing's for certain. I'll never try to tell when someone is lying versus when they're not. I'll just assume everyone's always telling me the truth. It's easier that way.

Running into everyone. And interrupting everyone.

I still feel half-blind.

I guess the up side is that I am no DUMBER than anyone else, even if I'm no smarter either.

We're having a hail storm.

Even more, why am I fixating on this?

Well that was interesting.

When all else fails, play miss innocent.

But I guess it's irrelevant.

I finally have shit I want to do on LJ and it's fucking up bad.

I want...(don't go there.)

I've been daydreaming.

I'll entertain some idyllic daydream about the future.

At some point, name deleted gave me a funny look.

Ambiguous or obviously contradictory answers.

So. It's a question of focusing will.

The sigil--chaos magick for chaos personalities.

I did the watermaze stuff.

God, a little coffee with your foam?

It needs to be catharsis for...

Actions were karmically significant but operating on the heraclitus principle.

I am so god awful cranky today.

And a nightmare, something about not able to go grocery shopping and a weird lurking evil.

Maybe I should have been more direct but that isn't my way.

I dreamed I was in Iowa City.

Except it's immoral. Which only makes me want it more.

He suggested Brazil...told me about the wild monkeys, making me very happy...

I need a name for this.

My throat and nose hurt.

It's just the big think...

Maybe it's just absolution.

sign

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