New Years. Went for Indian food and coffee.

I feel ready to fucking EXPLODE!

It all started when he asked if I was going for gnocchi.

I re-thought my decision to not apply to UT...

It's like a small hole was drilled in my spine and all the substance, all the confidence, all the self awareness is being sucked out of me...

Mars is sexuality but also AGGRESSION...

I'm a rage-a-holic. I can't live without my rage-a-hol.

If I can't live by my own rules, if I can't look in the mirror and say this is the result of my own choices...what do I have?

I really enjoy my own company tonight.

Finally...looks like my Perkins was disbursed.

I won't. I'm passed that.

But I'm not passed eating cookie dough. excuse me.

and really, isn't it all just impotent rage?

anyways...my fault. should have asserted myself before I flipped out...not let her bully me into accepting a constant stream of unfounded, judgemental opinions for fear of some melodrama.

Just looked at the syllabus.

I must be on crack.

...I think it's a combo...

It's ten degrees out there.

I was completely strategic in how I did it.

...he said, rather jovially, as he walked away.

And let me space out sometimes. Let me be deep in thought.

name deleted was arguing with me.

I kind of just want time now to myself.

It all started when I was changing my bra.

I'm never thrilled about anything before my first cup of coffee anyways.

name deleted called me last night. We talked for awhile.

maybe I sounded...sloppy?

he said he did but qualified his comment.

So weird...I saw my entries at the start of this.

I no more have an answer for that than I did nearly a year ago.

I did ask the cards...I got ace of wands.

My ethics class rocks.

My Philosophy teacher came in at that moment.

Today in class, I seriously had to pee.

I think Wayne State has a factory where mass produce dippy, whiny, clueless students.

...sounds like he's got the plague or something.

By the time I got my cappucino to class all the froth was gone.

ugly thoughts.

But here's the paradox.

I feel kind of guilty.

Impossibility. Time and words and differences will estrange.

I feel unsettled...about everything. like there's just this great fragility.

It doesn't work anyways...

spazz...

I mean, I could explain myself...

I kind of want nothing to do with anyone.

She glommed onto me which made me hate her more, it was like it was my job to keep her company while "the guys talked".

moving towards the future is a volatile,changeable,passionate influence, subtle but aggressive,fierce and emotionally intense.

I've put it off, but it's not out of the picture.

I'm running into way too many people today.

every answered question poses two more.

I threw up this morning.

It gripped me deep in the chest.

It's metaphoric really.

Um...I knew it was bad when he had the grim "we have to meet" thing going on.

I was oblivious and barely noticed...

Listened to Morrissey today.

I wish people would stop looking at me.

I felt like I couldn't relate to her AT ALL, like I couldn't relate in the slightest.

Don't remember much but I do remember my phone rang.

Trust...what was that line in Barfly, "I trust everyone...it's easier that way."

take a shower...eat something...read the rest of Phaedo...

Goddammit, I hate when the espresso is tan.

My problem isn't that I can't forget. My problem is that amnesia seldom lends itself to blacking out the past. No, my problem is that the most common form of amnesia is the inability to form NEW memories.

I'm in rather good spirits today,despite my sinuses being complete shit.

I'm gonna see Current 93 in Toronto!!

I'm just too good at this.

I should eat something. "Oh my, you should eat."

and I was standing around but then I got embarrassed...

Shit, !?! margins...

There are no true contradictions.

What a ludicrously easy test.

Even tho' my stomach is thrashed from coffee, ephedrine and impotent rage, I'm drinking a grande because I had a free one coming.

This seems to be my new M.O.

I came out of the bathroom and drank from the fountain,he spun around in a circle and walked out the door...uh...okay.

Well,that went well.

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