I have buyer's remorse...

Why am I the only person on the face of the earth that's annoyed by cross-noise?

At least I'm taking Kant.

But it faded when I went into the basement.

And for once I had something worth saying.

name deleted probably answered telepathically. name deleted probably hasn't checked her email. name deleted probably is in co-dependent bliss.

But it was weird when I added it up in my head.

I'm in an angry, irritated funk this morning.

But after this, I sort of have to wonder if he's one of those people that is super pleasant to your face but bitches about you behind your back.

There's something about a guy with glasses.

I'm still anxious about the lab.

Um, five of cups...that seems very embroiled.

Up and down, you'll go through up periods of profound happiness but downs of great angst.

I feel so guilty about asking those questions...

What classes do I absolutely have to take in the winter?

Something happened when I went to make the presentation too but I forget why...awry,complicated. & I don't think I went to New York.

Then Wednesday meowed and interrupted me.

Hold on:segway

Weird dream about New Mexico again.

I got to pick up the rat pups and put them in the exposure tanks. I can fit five in my hands. They're so little...

"I leave for Brazil day after tomorrow."

Last night, I tossed and turned, waking up repeatedly in free floating anxiety. I couldn't get these thoughts out of my head...

That Indian food didn't sit well with me. My stomach hurts.

I'm finally starting to get excited about this trip.

It's cold out today.

When I come back, everything will be in full swing...my work on the thesis, my classes will be starting up...

This trip is off to a bad start.

Well I'm in Miami. The hotel room is nice, and the food is awesome. I had a tasty Caesar Salad and a piece of cake called "Chocolate Suicide". The people seem nice,too.

However, there is a massive hurricane.

In Manaus.

The resort is gorgeous.

The monkeys were awesome,though. I saw all kinds...capuchin,woolly monkeys, squirrel monkeys...the squirrel monkeys were tiny. And the capuchins...one of them shook my hand. It was so adorable.

I got to pet a squirrel monkey (twice) and hug a sloth.

It was kind of sad though,I mean just these poor kids peddling wild animals for reals, one of them went crazy when we gave them five reals $1.75 American).

The meeting of the rivers was cool tho'.

I feel torn today.

Although admittedly my attenional problems get the better of me sometimes...

So, that city tour was exhausting.

So, there's the bigger matter...

I prefer the integrity of truth...

Like that Cure song...

What was I thinking that I could live in small town Alabama?

There was some man that looked like Brazilian Kyle McLachlan (hot,too) and I kept checking him out but he kept catching me and staring back.

...which, by the way, is two hours late.

Rio is gorgeous.

The hotel is two single beds.

I was reading the Emily Colas book ("Just Checking") and I was reading all this stuff to him that I related to.

name deleted and I are getting along better.

Back home.

Being back home feels weird.

Will name deleted avoid me again?

I put up pics of the trip.

Maybe it's because I just feel so...different. removed. I can't explain it.

--I crashed out.

Ahh, the marvelously disgusting beverage that passes for a cappucino at Java City/Java U/Whatever the fuck they're calling themselves this week.

I came in and found out we had thirty (yes, thirty animals to run.

Discovering stuff is exciting. But the legwork sucks.

Therapy starts tomorrow. Resumes.

I get there at 9. name deleted isnt there. Wait. No sign of him. Go outside for a clove. 9:15. Nothing. Go get a cappucino. Sit and wait. Sipping my coffee on the porch of the Science building. Nothing. 9;45. He strolls up with his kid.

Jesus, is 72 hours notice to be coming in through the holiday weekend really so much to ask?!? No, I mean honestly...

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